Nothing else matters
by BikerChick101
Summary: written after watching season 4 episode 6,"Easy J", Nate and Serena they just need each other


He saw her in a quiet corner of the Columbia library when he walked in. She was sitting cross legged on a chair, her elbows on her knees. One of her hands holding the book and the other propping her head up. He's still angry with her, she hurt him, broke him and he doesn't forgive her, doesn't want to forgive her. She was supposed to love him, to stay with him, they finally got their chance and they messed it up. Why couldn't she see that everything he did, every move, every word, every mistake was made for her, to protect her, protect them. He loved her so much it hurt to look at her, it hurt to think about summer, it hurt to breathe.

She was reading the book so intently, her face scrunched up in concentration as she read, her eyebrows raising when she didn't understand or she read something she didn't believe. He smiled when he saw her face light up as she got to a part she liked and understood. He hated that he knew her as well as he did.

He thought of going up to her and pouring his heart out about his dad, about Juliet's rejection after she found out about it. After all at Chuck's party she said she would be there for him always but he thought against it, they drifted too far apart after they broke up and it would probably hurt more if she just looked at him than if he actually told her his story. He could barely handle standing in front of her, drunk, and have her touch his hand without flinching, he could just barely handle looking at her now without the anger and pain being brought back up to the surface. He had to walk away, get out of there before he took out his anger about everything on her in the library, he turned and walked out as fast as he could, his reason for being there in the first place forgotten he could remember what he needed when he needed it again. Nathaniel Archibald was no coward but his defences failed and everything he ever knew went flying out the window when she was involved, he needed the pain to stop.

* * *

She looked up as he turned, her breath caught when she saw her golden boy walking away from her, it took a lot of restraint on her part not to throw her book to the side and run after him but she couldn't. So much has happened between them and she's scared that she'll make things worse, he made it clear that he's angry with her about everything that happened and he wants no he needs his space to work through it without her, he has Juliet now.

He has this look on his face as he walks away, she knows that look, she knew almost all his facial expressions, she knows him for too long not to, loved him for too long. Finally it clicks, where she's seen his face like that before. The first time he found his fathers drugs, just after she came back from boarding school, the day of the disaster brunch, he came to her to confide in her and get comfort from her and she couldn't give him what he wanted, she wouldn't let herself.

She watched him walk away, wondering why she decided she needed a break from him why she even asked. He was perfect for her, just another thing she screwed up in her far from perfect life. How could he ever forgive her after everything that's happened, she knows he has reason to want to hurt her like she did him but there is so much he needs to understand about why she ran, he knows her well but there are some things even Blair doesn't know. It hurts to not have him around to fall on when she needs help, her knight and shining armour. She needs him to know, she has to tell him but she cant, something stops her. He isn't single, he's with Juliet and as much as she doesn't trust her, even she admits that maybe it's better for him to move on and leave the drama that is her behind. Serena van der Woodsen does things her way and people follow suit, she doesn't need help in her relationships, doesn't even need to make a big effort before the guy comes running back, but he's different and with him she needs a lot of help. Tossing the book her new professor -and maybe future boyfriend- wrote on the closest desk, she grabbed her bag and phone walking out of the library she had to make things right with him, she can't take the pain anymore, it has to end.

* * *

He ran for as long as he could, he needed to get the thoughts of her out of his mind, he needed to get over the feelings he may have developed for Juliet in an attempt to get over her and he needed the anger at whichever bastard touched his father to dissipate before he attacked a random bystander. Everything he was belonged to her, he couldn't think her name, couldn't look at her without being hurt all over again. He came to a stop at the pond they used to go to as kids, all four of them, leaned on the railing and watched the ducks while he waited for his heart rate to slow down from his run. He thought about calling Chuck but he has his own problems with Blair to work through, something he doesn't even want to get into, the two of them have always been extremely complicated but they loved each other, still do. He couldn't call Dan, as much as he has become a friend there is only so much of the Upper East Side he can handle. His mother was out of the question, she didn't want to know about his father he tried talking to her already, his family was no help when his father was involved. Blair would listen she always did but she and Chuck have their own problems and she would probably be with her best friend now, he couldn't handle seeing her again for a little while.

She just stepped out of Blair's room, her best friend hadn't been much help, after her night of realising and admitting that she was still in love with Chuck and nothing was going to help she spent the rest of the day in bed with ice-cream, chocolate and battle plans to get over the drama Jenny's day long visit had caused. Her visit to Blair's consisted mainly of her consoling her best friend and Blair telling her not to give up on Nate the way she did with Chuck, the mistakes she made were too great for her and Chuck to reconcile but Serena and Nate still could if they really wanted to. So she decided to do something instead of watching him with Juliet, she may have called a truce with the other blond but there was still something about her that she couldn't trust. She made her way to the park Dorota used to take the four of them to when they were younger it was always the best place to think and relax, she loved watching the kids play. He was there, he stood facing the pond his back to her. He was sweating and breathing heavily so he must've had a lot to think about if his run was that long. She walked up to him slowly not sure if she should talk to him or if he would want to talk to her, but she needed to, she needed to avoid becoming like Blair and Chuck, she needed to be able to feel safe again, she needed him.

"Hey," she said slowly, as she leaned on the railing next to him. He turned to her and when his blue met hers, she didn't have time to think she just reached up and wrapped her arms around him pulling him as close as possible and letting him melt in her embrace. "I'm here, we'll be ok," she said tightening her arms around his neck as he buried his head into her hair, he didn't cry, he wouldn't cry and as angry as he thought he was with her, she was exactly what he needed. Everything and everyone forgotten, their feelings and problems lost in the moment they were in, right now they were Nate and Serena, Serena and Nate, nothing else mattered.

* * *

**A/N I know its a little wierd and nothing like the things I normally write but this came to me while I was procrastinating in the library, so I hope you guys enjoy it and please tell me what you think, should I keep on writing little snipets of nonsense or just stop and stick to my jumpy stories lol**


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